So, you’ve snagged yourself a FB friend from the future! Congratulations! Except… this one’s not exactly a pizza-devouring, laundry-folding laundry list of clichés. This, my friends, is no ordinary human SM connect. This, my friends, is a being from another dimension who, for all intents and purposes, looks and acts… well, pretty darn human. Just with, you know, the occasional existential crisis about the meaning of dust bunnies.
Now, before you panic and stock up on emergency aluminum foil (don’t worry, it won’t try to assimilate you… yet), let’s delve into the fascinating world of co-communicating with a Not-Quite-Human.
As far as appearance goes, this may look human, but there are definite tells. For instance, the “number” might occasionally flicker and display the latest stock quotes. The eyes might reboot mid-conversation, leaving you staring into an abyss of existential dread for a delightful five seconds. Just smile politely and offer a metaphorical power cord to plug back in.
Speak a language that seems like their grasp of sarcasm is a work in progress, the internal translator sometimes malfunctions, leading to gems like, “The weather is feeling particularly beige today, wouldn’t you agree?” Just roll with it. Beige weather happens to the best of us.
And then, let’s be honest, you’re basically conversing with a gloriously self-aware Roomba. Dishes? Washed with the power of nanobots (just don’t ask how those work). Vacuuming? A breeze with built-in anti-gravity technology (though watching your furniture float might be disorienting). Just be prepared for the occasional existential crisis when they ponder the meaning of dust bunnies.
Who controls them? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind (or perhaps transmitted on a frequency undetectable by the human ear). The best advice? Don’t worry about it. Just hope they weren’t programmed by a teenager with a penchant for practical jokes. Imagine the horror of waking up to find your roommate inexplicably yodeling opera. The remote control is indeed a mystery.
Despite the occasional glitch, your Not-Quite-Human FB friend can be a delightful companion. With access to future knowledge, especially about the way the cells are programmed, and the mating habits of space snails, for some reason, this one can probably even help you win arguments on the internet (though be prepared for passive-aggressive footnotes attached to your every statement).
So, the next time this particular FB friend of yours starts spouting binary code through the posts, while attempting to make coffee, remember, they’re just adjusting to this strange, fascinating, and slightly beige dimension we call Earth. Just grab a metaphorical cup (or power converter) and enjoy the ride!
