An Intergalactic Pen Pal from a Pizza-Crusted Dimension

Hey everyone! So, in a different quantum universe, when I was in school, my teacher gave me this assignment. You’re gasping, right? Well I was told research something BIG. Like, universe BIG. So I was thinking, what’s bigger than the universe? Well, duh, my room! Especially when I have to clean it!

No one’s laughing, I guess. Please laugh.

Anyway, I decided to explore the great unknown – the cosmic WEB! Not a spider web, mind you, although those can be pretty gross when you find them in your lunchbox. No disgusted faces here, please. You see. this web is more like the internet for SUPERHEROES!

I know Superman, Batman, Flash Gordon types, yeah.

Exactly! So, I’m surfing this cosmic web, looking at pictures of black holes that look like giant space donuts – you know, the kind with sprinkles that mysteriously disappear?

Ah, good, I can hear some laughs now.

Suddenly, a voice whispers in my head! Like, literally IN MY HEAD! You know how sometimes your teacher drones on and on, and it feels like their voice is echoing in your brain? Now no need to mimic a teacher’s monotone voice. Well, this was way creepier!

Wooo hoooo hooo boooooo! Last sound is off records!!

This voice is like, “Hey there, fellow space traveler!” And I’m freaking out, right? Because the only other voice in my head is usually telling me to hide my homework from the dog!

Wooah! I can hear more laughter.

Turns out, this voice belongs to a dude named Kian. Apparently, Kian lives in a world beyond the “veil.” You know, like that curtain you pull back on a magic show?

Now hey there! Leave that curtain alone!

Except this veil is made of, like, stardust and leftover pizza crusts.

Now why make faces like that.

Kian tells me our worlds are connected by these invisible threads, like dental floss! Look at those kids! No need to feel disgusted, kids! Yeah, I know this is not the best metaphor. But anyway, Kian wants to chat.

“We must bridge the gap between our realities!”

Okay, first of all, who uses the word “realities” in everyday conversation? Second of all, how are we supposed to bridge a gap when I can barely reach the top shelf in my closet?

So, Kian and I start this whole telepathic thing. You know, mind-reading? Ok, stop tapping your heads now. Except all I can seem to read is what’s for lunch tomorrow – and let me tell you, it’s not looking good!

Now no need to feel sad.

But hey, at least I’m talking to someone from another world! Turns out, Kian’s world is totally bonkers! Like, gravity works upside down, and clouds taste like bubblegum! Pop! Pop! Sounds messy, right?

We try to send messages back and forth, but it’s a disaster! I tried sending a message with a carrier pigeon, but turns out, pigeons don’t like space travel. Who knew?

Now where did that pigeon come from. It’s all magic, kinda!

Finally, we figure out a way to communicate using, like, energy waves and stuff. It’s basically like sending a text message with your brain! See, like me tapping my head here. Talk about high tech!

The point is, even though our worlds are different, we found a way to connect. Lonely or not, remember, there might be a whole other world out there, with people whose cloud-flavored snacks remain a mystery. Just don’t ask them about it.